So, you've already made (or accepted) the most important offer of your life. Next up are the first, timid steps in planning a future wedding. It is quite natural that even those things that at first glance seem very simple turn into pleasant, but complex and demanding chores. And this is not to mention the issues that directly affect the impression of the wedding among guests and newlyweds, such as choosing a restaurant, organizing a banquet, drawing up a guest list, and so on, and so on.

Against this background, many people forget or do not pay enough attention to another important task - the choice of a witness. This decision is left until the last minute or, as often happens, the person who seems like the most obvious candidate (usually a long-time boyfriend or girlfriend) is chosen for the honorary role. And, perhaps, even before the wedding it is clear that he/she is not very suitable for this role, but everyone (including the future witnesses themselves) expects just such a choice from the bride and groom. “I don’t care, but the person is pleased!” - many of us think in such a situation and... are mistaken.

Practice shows just the opposite: there shouldn’t be a “all the same”, because a lot depends on the witness at a wedding. And that is why you should weigh in advance all the pros and cons of each candidate and choose the person who, with his presence, behavior and, finally, appearance, will only decorate the celebration, and also save the young from a number of problems and worries.

In order for each of you to make the only right decision, we’ll talk about who can claim to be a witness at a wedding, consider the history of the issue, find out what tasks fall on the shoulders of witnesses and, finally, give some useful recommendations regarding the nuances of their choice .

History of tradition

The custom of inviting a friend of the groom to a wedding as a so-called “buddy” existed in Rus' many centuries ago. Like other wedding roles traditional for weddings of the time, the groomsman had a number of set responsibilities. First of all, he had to lead the matchmaking, the bride ransom ceremony, as well as the festive feast. This required a person to have excellent organizational skills and deep knowledge of all traditions. Over time, the role of the bridesmaid appeared at weddings in Russia. It is interesting that later it was she who began to be called “friend”, and the witness on the groom’s side - “boyar”.

For many hundreds of years, there has been an analogue of the friend/boyar in the West. In European culture, this role is called “best man” and involves approximately the same set of responsibilities as in Rus'. At the beginning of the 20th century, and then at the end, after the collapse of the USSR, the word “best man” began to be actively used in our country, like many other imported concepts and traditions. However, the most widely used definition is that which appeared in the Soviet era and was rooted in folk tradition - “witness” and “witness”.

It is not surprising that this concept has become the most widely used and understandable to everyone, because the presence of two witnesses at a wedding in the registry office (on the part of the bride and groom) was mandatory: this was required by law. Even if the newlyweds did not plan a ceremony, they simply could not get married without the presence of two more obligatory participants. It is interesting that in cases where marriages were concluded without preparation, the role of witnesses was sometimes played by complete strangers or, for example, the bride and groom waiting for their registration.

Few people know that in our time, legislation no longer requires the presence of witnesses at a wedding ceremony in the registry office. Their participation in painting is a tribute to tradition and has no legal basis. Moreover, in some registry offices, witnesses are still asked to put their signatures after the newlyweds on... a white sheet. The further fate of this “document” is unenviable, but Mendelssohn’s march continues to play, the solemnity of the moment is observed and the relatives have another minute or two to feel the significance of the event and shed a tear of tenderness.

Who can act as a witness and witness?

As we have already found out, the roles of the witness and the witness are not regulated in any way by law, which means that there are no official requirements or standards in this regard. In fact, anyone can play this role.

Wedding traditions set more stringent conditions for selecting witnesses. In accordance with them, the bride invites a young unmarried girl in this capacity, and the groom, accordingly, invites an unmarried guy.

Finally, the most stringent requirements are not set by tradition or rules, but by ordinary practicality and foresight. Unfortunately, this is precisely what many newlyweds forget about, choosing witnesses, as they say, “by their clothes,” or appointing old friends to this role, who are simply inconvenient not to make such an offer. Of course, there is nothing reprehensible in the bride’s desire to have a beautiful friend nearby - another noticeable decoration of the entire wedding. The motives of the groom, who offers to become a witness to a good friend with whom so many episodes of a stormy, pre-wedding life are connected, are also clear. But against this background, we should not forget about the responsibilities that the witnesses will perform: it is very important to think in advance about how well the proposed candidates for this role will cope with the tasks assigned.

To make it easier for you to assess the real capabilities of the future boyar and boyfriend, let's talk about what they will have to do before and during the wedding, what their main functions and privileges are.

Responsibilities of witnesses before marriage

Few people know that the participation of witnesses can and should begin long before the wedding ceremony itself. After all, who, if not a close friend or friend, can better help prepare for the most important event in life so that the result exceeds the expectations of even the newlyweds themselves. So, let's look at the approximate duties of witnesses, which future newlyweds can count on fulfilling even before the wedding.

Witness:

Preparation and distribution of invitations;
. assistance in choosing a dress, accessories and jewelry for the bride;
. organizing a pre-wedding party or, more simply put, a bachelorette party;
. assistance in drawing up a celebration script, planning rituals and ceremonies;
. participation in decorating the hall where the wedding banquet will take place.

Witness:

Organization and holding of a bachelor party on the eve of the wedding;
. preparation of the bride ransom ceremony;
. planning a route around the city after registration at the registry office, thinking through the procedure for the guests and main participants in the wedding.

As is easy to see, even before the wedding, the witnesses will have to show their subtle taste, resourcefulness, attentiveness and extraordinary organizational skills. Already at this stage, you can think about whether the role is up to the selected candidates. However, the real test of the witnesses' abilities awaits them ahead - on the wedding day.

Responsibilities of a witness on a wedding day

On a wedding day, a witness is not only a friend of the bride, but also her main assistant, capable of easing many difficult worries and preventing a number of unforeseen situations. It is also important that, unlike parents, friends and organizers, she “helps and warns” from the very early morning until the young people leave the restaurant - where her participation is certainly not required.

It all starts with the appearance of a witness in the bride's house. Ideally, she can spend the night there, but if this is impossible or inconvenient, then she should be the first to be at the forefront of preparation for the event, without discounts for lack of sleep after the bachelorette party and traffic jams. It is important to note that the bridesmaid should get dressed, do her hair and makeup before the main hero of the occasion does this. Already at this stage, unforeseen delays and small difficulties often arise, which can force the witness, who ignored our recommendation, to get ready in a hurry, pulling on stockings and shoes to the signals of the approaching motorcade with the groom.

Such a rush cannot be allowed also because it is the witness who usually meets this same motorcade in front of the house. In the event that the bride is still not ready for the designated moment or the groom’s impatience has brought him to the meeting place before the appointed time, it is the groom who can “cause the fire on himself.” At these moments, you can once again pay attention to the decoration of the car or simply build up the exciting anticipation of young people with enthusiastic reviews of the bride’s dress. Without going into details, of course.

During the ransom ceremony, the witness is inseparably with the bride, participating in the process as an active spectator to the extent possible and willing. After the successful completion of the transaction (and it cannot be otherwise!) it is worth making sure that no one is left out during the short reception at the bride’s parental home. Maintaining constant business contact with mothers, aunts, and grandmothers, our heroine makes sure that everyone has a glass of champagne in their hands and that no one is forgotten somewhere in the hallway.

We have already touched upon the duties of a witness during a wedding ceremony at the registry office. She is always in the front row, signs her autograph on papers and tries her best not to step on the bride's train. It is interesting that, for example, in Ukraine, the duties of witnesses additionally include the beautiful ritual of unrolling the “rushnik” (a towel embroidered in the national style), which the newlyweds step on when registering their marriage.

After the official part of the event is over and the tension has subsided a little, the witness helps the bride accept countless bouquets from the hands of those present. In order for the snow-white dress not to be damaged, and for the guests to be able to see the newlyweds in the heap of flowers, the witnesses need to take on the role of a stand for bouquets. It wouldn’t hurt to think in advance about where to put them afterwards, without the risk of spoiling the delicate beauty of fresh flowers or simply forgetting the bouquets in someone’s car.

While walking around the city and taking photographs, the witness must simultaneously pose in the frame for the necessary photographs and make sure that none of her friends gets bored. During long photo shoots of the newlyweds, it will be appropriate if the groomsmen offer the guests treats and champagne.

Despite the fact that at wedding banquets, seats are usually assigned to guests in advance, some confusion may arise upon entering the restaurant, which may also involve the witness. Ideally theoretically savvy (and we hope this is exactly the case), she knows exactly the seating plan for guests and can help those around them to sit comfortably before the banquet begins.

The witness should understand that during this very banquet she will often have to take the lead, demonstrating all her charm, resourcefulness and sociability. The host of the celebration will certainly make every effort to achieve this. For this reason, a girl should not only be mentally prepared to be in the spotlight, but also think through her wedding outfit so that it can withstand the test of mobility. We all understand the desire of some bridesmaids to make themselves a complex, multi-level hairstyle, wear a long dress with a train or, for example, a corset that has to be constantly adjusted. But, unfortunately, such a desire is somewhat at odds with the requirements of practicality and threatens with annoying oddities.

Finally, at every moment of this wonderful day, the witness is an urgent aid to the bride in any unforeseen situation. In her friend’s purse there is a spare pair of stockings, a needle with white thread, a band-aid, citramone, and other “emergency” supplies, with which she is always ready to help if the hero of the occasion has any difficulties with her outfit or the bride experiences an unwell condition, which is quite natural for such an exciting day. The excellent preparation of the witness and her maximum attention are the guarantee that such troubles will go unnoticed by the guests and will not prevent the newlyweds from enjoying the celebration in their honor.

Responsibilities of a witness on a wedding day

Be that as it may, the groom at the wedding needs help to a much lesser extent than the bride. The outfit is more practical, there are fewer problems with hairstyle and there are no questions at all about makeup, jewelry and accessories. And men’s needs, as a rule, are noticeably more modest: from a wedding a man expects solemnity, a fun time, high ratings from all the guests, and even more often, its completion. On the contrary, the desire to shine with your appearance and bask in the rays of admiration from others is not the most characteristic thing for a groom. All this somewhat simplifies the tasks of the witness.

In general, its functions mainly boil down to helping the witness in everything she would do, even if there are no requests for this very help from her. It is very important to carefully monitor everything that happens around you in order to react in a timely manner and direct the holiday in the right, pre-planned direction.

To a large extent, the role of the witness is revealed during the bride ransom ritual. He should understand in advance what is expected of him and prepare the props. Impromptu, of course, decorate the ransom (like any other rites), but only if these impromptu are not caused by a lack of something or ignorance of traditions.

When traveling around the city, the witness must ensure that the walk not only leaves behind beautiful memorable photographs, but also brings maximum pleasure to all participants. To do this, you should stock up on the necessary products for buffets at stopping points: champagne, snacks, sweets and juice. With every pause that occurs during the next photo shoot, the witness knows where everything is and effectively uses it to entertain the guests. However, it is important not to overdo it here. Excessive zeal can lead to the fact that someone already drinks the daily allowance of alcohol during the buffet tables, after which a real banquet in a restaurant will turn out to be superfluous.

It would seem that during the celebration at the festive table the witness can already relax. But no. In most cases, it is at this moment that the fun begins for him. In addition to the fact that the boyar is obliged to vigilantly monitor the spilling of alcohol to the young people and their parents, the young man certainly becomes the object of increased attention for the host of the banquet. He participates in almost every competition, is the first to get up to dance, and generally sets an example for the other guests in many ways. Here the witness will have maximum opportunities to show his resourcefulness and ingenuity, sense of humor and charm.

The duties of the witness are completed only at the end of the banquet, when the newlyweds have already left the restaurant and the invitees begin to leave. Along with his parents, the young man sees off guests and, if necessary, calls a taxi for those who need it.

How to choose a witness and witness? Useful tips

So, we have found out what responsibilities are assigned to the witness and the witness. Now is the time to decide who will show himself better: a personable and collected workmate, an old joker friend or a trusted childhood friend? A long-time student friend, an economically unmarried relative or an enterprising, energetic colleague? To make the right choice easier, here are a few simple but practice-tested recommendations:

As you might guess after reading the impressive list of responsibilities of witnesses, serious organization and self-discipline are required of them. The newlyweds' closest friends must realize the importance of their mission and be prepared for this role, theoretically and practically. It is the boyar who simply must remember to take passports and rings to the registry office, and the friend knows exactly where everything necessary for buffets during a walk is. And this is just a particular example, of which there will be many.

Self-discipline will not be enough if the witnesses do not have enough time to prepare before the wedding. Unlike other guests, it is not enough for them to simply show up at the set time on the right day. You need to prepare for the wedding, and already at the stage of selecting witnesses you need to understand whether they will have the time and desire for this.

It is important that witnesses know well and have a keen sense of their “wards”, providing the necessary assistance even before they ask for it. So, for example, it is a friend who is the first to notice a problem with the bride’s hair, makeup or dress and helps to cope with the problem so that it goes unnoticed by everyone around her.

To ensure guests have the best possible wedding experience, witnesses will need good communication skills, a sense of humor, and tact. This is not surprising, because they are the ones who entertain and get bored guests dancing, show all their intelligence in numerous competitions and even set the tone of the celebration together with the toastmaster.

Is it worth mentioning that the witness, like the groom, is simply contraindicated to indulge in alcoholic beverages at the banquet and before it? There is nothing sadder than a boyar who fell asleep with his face in a salad somewhere in the middle of the celebration. And if there is even the slightest probability of such a development of events, it is worth choosing another person for this honorable role.

It is always wise to discuss your choice of candidate with your future spouse. An outside view may be more objective than your own judgments dictated by many years of friendship.

It is quite natural that the first reaction to all of the above may be the thought: “But my witness is not suitable for this role at all! What should I do?!” But do not rush to panic, because the most important criterion is spiritual closeness and trust between the witness and the groom/bride. Even if a friend does not have a sparkling sense of humor and stunning charm, it will be comfortable to feel his support and feel confident that a friend or girlfriend will not let you down at an important moment. And this is the most important thing. Perhaps you should just approach the issue with increased attention and devote another evening in the company of witnesses to thinking through and planning everything that they will have to do on the long-awaited wedding day. This will help avoid annoying surprises and make the celebration truly bright and memorable.

Signs at a wedding are important for witnesses; they have an important role in this ceremony. From the article you will learn how to bring happiness to your young people and yourself.

In the article:

Signs at a wedding for a witness - how to choose

The role of witnesses at a wedding is important, and there are many superstitions about them. Some of them are devoted to choosing friends for this mission. Not everyone is invited for it. In the old days, when a marriage took place in a church, believers and baptized people were taken as witnesses. In the past, this was always a married couple, but today it is considered that such a sign is negative.


Modern requirements for witnesses have changed. Now they can be unmarriedPArnie and the girls. It is believed that married couples will give up their own happiness and the marriage will break down. Divorced people should also not be called as witnesses, as this could lead to a quick divorce. Unmarried people will bring happiness into the lives of newlyweds.

There are those who believe that the witnesses are in love with each other. But by convention, you can’t invite established couples; you’ll give your happiness to the young. That is why they are afraid to take those in a relationship as witnesses.

The bridesmaid should be at least a day younger than her. When you have two eligible girlfriends and it’s difficult to decide who to call as a witness to the wedding, invite both. Signs do not prohibit this, there is no negative meaning.

You cannot call widows as witnesses. They will bring such a status to the marriage, this sign, just like the one that prohibits the use of a widow’s engagement or wedding ring. They don’t take a sister as a bridesmaid - it doesn’t matter whether it’s close or distant. It is not advisable to call the namesake when it meets the other criteria.

If you are going to get married, invite the best man and bridesmaid from among the believers and baptized people.

Signs for witnesses - how to bring happiness

Signs for a witness at a wedding recommend that she choose a dress of pink, blue or golden color. This brings family happiness to the young. Girlfriends don't wear black.

The bridesmaid helps the bride with makeup, outfit and hairstyle. But you are not allowed to stand in front of her near the mirror - it will take away your happiness. It is believed that someone who intends to take away the groom will do this. This sign also applies to the best man; he helps the groom with his tie, but is further away from the mirror.

There is another tradition - pinning pins to the clothes of young people for happiness. This is done before registration and is included in the list of bridesmaid duties. But not to inject herself is a bad omen, which portends unhappiness and loneliness for her.

When the newlyweds exchange rings, they should not touch the empty box where they were lying, or the special pillow. For them, this is a sign of an unsuccessful marriage. The responsibility is shifted to the bridesmaid; the box will bring her marriage and happiness in her personal life.

When guests shout “Bitter!”, witnesses do not forget the response “Sweet!” The bride and groom are not allowed to cross the road, so the witnesses walk slightly ahead of them. They prepare a white thread to pass through a fallen wedding ring in order to prevent negative beliefs for young people.

Signs for a witness - how to get married

When a girl knows special signs for a witness, she will help bring happiness to the young, but also. It's easy to do. But do not become a professional bridesmaid, it is believed that you are allowed to become one twice, and the third time is your own wedding. Those who break the ancient rule do not marry.

It was written above what colors of bridesmaid dresses bring a happy future to young people. But in order to get married yourself, you need any green item of clothing or decorative element of a dress.

To quickly become a married woman, make something for the bride. When she wears a piece of jewelry or accessory to a wedding, it promises you marital happiness.

At the ceremony you will have the opportunity to take a box or pillow from. Be sure to use it, this. Also gently pull the bride's hemline at the ceremony. But they do it unnoticed.

During a feast, the girlfriend is advised to sit on the corner of the table and lightly pull the tablecloth towards herself, as if attracting her husband. There is a recommendation to steal a fork from the wedding table in order to quickly start your own family.

These signs will help you gain happiness or bring it to others’ lives, and will become a help and an interesting moment for the wedding ceremony.

In contact with

Previously, the presence of a witness at a wedding celebration was mandatory. Today, weddings are held without witnesses, but many brides still prefer to appoint someone to this role, because many signs are associated with it that promise happiness to the newlyweds. For example, she must pin pins on the clothes of the bride and groom. In addition, on such an exciting day, any bride will need good support and support, as well as assistance in organizing the wedding. The Svadebka.ws portal has prepared an article about the signs and responsibilities of a witness at a wedding, which will help you understand all the nuances of choosing a suitable candidate.

Who can be a witness at a wedding?

According to ancient traditions and signs, a witness can be a girl who:

• Single,
• younger than the bride (at least by a few days),
• not divorced
• not a widow
• not the bride's namesake,
• not the bride's sister (not even a cousin).

There is no specific information about whether the sister can be a witness at the wedding. Disadvantaged - this is not a categorical prohibition, so if this is the most suitable candidate, nominate her. With a widow and a divorcee, everything is clear, but with regard to a girl with the same name, it is believed that she can steal the happiness of a young woman.

It is also undesirable for a married couple to be witnesses at a wedding; according to signs, this is bad, first of all, for themselves. Our ancestors were sure that after this the marriage of the married couple would fall apart. But according to the traditions of Orthodoxy, everything is just the opposite; the best candidates for the role of witnesses were considered a husband and wife. So, if you are a deeply religious person, then signs about married witnesses for a wedding should not influence your decision.

Do not forget that the witness must have certain personal qualities. She will have great responsibility, and how the wedding goes will largely depend on her. Therefore, a girl for this role should be organized, responsible, sociable, positive and not shy, because she will always be the center of attention. Also ask the prospective wedding witness whether she has been in such a position before and how many times, since signs say that one can only be in this position three times. Otherwise, she may not get married.

What should a witness do before the wedding?

First of all, a witness at a wedding should provide moral support to the bride. Organizing a wedding can sometimes be a very nerve-wracking experience, especially if the bride is a perfectionist or overly emotional. Therefore, it is important that the witness can tell the bride to stop in time and send her to rest. She should also participate in organizing the wedding and pre-wedding events. The witness is entitled to:

1. Help the bride choose a dress and accessories. If a witness can give fashion and style advice, that's great, but overall, she's still needed at these events for moral support. To reassure the bride and help her make her choice.
2. Organize a bachelorette party - this event will fall entirely on the shoulders of the witness. She should think about the theme, the venue, an original surprise for the bride, you can follow the Western tradition and give her gifts for her wedding night. The main thing is that it is noisy and fun.
3. Prepare ransom - this is also included in the list of duties of a witness. You will need to think about how to ransom the bride from start to finish. The ransom, like the wedding itself, can be themed. There are no special rules or restrictions here, the main thing is that it is fun.

What should a witness do at a wedding?

And finally, the X-day has come. The witness should come before everyone else and help the bride get dressed, as well as take care of all organizational issues so that nothing overshadows this day for the newlyweds. It is best for the bridesmaid to prepare a list of responsibilities for the wedding so that nothing is missed.

During a wedding photo shoot, it is the witness’s responsibility to ensure that the bride’s makeup is in order, and if something happens, to have everything necessary to touch it up. Also make sure that guests are provided with snacks and drinks and do not get bored. If they don’t know each other well, you can organize a group photo shoot on the phone.

At a banquet, the wedding witness should help seat the guests, make sure that the tables have everything they need, and take charge of negotiations with the kitchen on all issues that arise. At the banquet there is always